Opinion

When Pigs Fly: Top Ten Theories About Swine Flu

A bad punThe theory holds that Barack Hussein Obama is really a Muslim and intends to “Islamicize” the whole world. He designed the swine flu epidemic to make the public uncomfortable with eating pork. He worked with the President of Egypt so that there would be a massive kill-off of pigs in Egypt in reaction to the swine flu epidemic.

A bad punIslamic Insights has been tracking the swine flu hysteria. In an effort to keep our readers informed with important, quality reporting of what is REALLY going on, we have done our homework and data-mined for you the ten most likely conspiracies related to the swine flu afflicting an unsuspecting populace. Our expertise in sorting fact from fiction on the Internet (everything online must be true, especially if someone blogged about it) is hereby put to good use in contributing to the H1N1 hysteria.

10. Nostradamus predicted that when a black man became president, pigs would fly. Obama has been in office 100 days, a time period that since Roosevelt has been associated with the completion of the beginning period of the Presidency, and what do you know – swine flu! Yes, this is a bad pun, but some people upset with the result of the US presidential election believe this theory. The saying “when pigs fly” is an English idiom for something that will never happen. However, “when pigs fly” derives from a Scottish saying that was first used in the 1580s – after Nostradamus was already dead.

9. According to Indonesian Health Minister Siti Fadilah Supari, pharmaceutical companies such as Baxter Corporation, or perhaps the American Medical Association instead, have been engineering the virus as a way to generate revenue to save the business from bankruptcy in a lagging economy. A similar theory holds that the medical supply companies that make surgical masks conspired together to have the virus released to save their bottom line, as well. Maybe it’s really the medical supply companies and pharmaceutical companies working in concert – after all, undoubtedly some of them have common interests and common ownership, and it is not inconceivable that a secret meeting of big wigs lamenting their profit losses concocted an easily-spread virus as a way to boost business. Another theory along these lines is that it was the media moguls who wanted to create a media frenzy to help boost profits. So, using press passes, they went down to Mexico where security is allegedly more lax and paid off some genetic engineers in Mexico to create something that would be world-wide news for a fair amount of time – the first of more to come!

8. United States anti-immigration forces felt desperate. With Democrats winning most seats, their battle was all but lost. So they created the swine flu as a last ditch effort to create support for anti-immigration policy and keep people from crossing the border into the United States from Mexico. This is their “final solution” to the problem of illegal immigration. An extension of this theory has it that Israel was behind the creation and release of the virus, because the Israeli government felt that if more support for the wall between Mexico and the United States could be garnered, and US citizens could be made to feel the need to fence in the Mexican people, then the public would also be more sympathetic toward its isolation of Gaza citizens from the outside world. Evidence for Israeli involvement comes in the words of Ultra-Orthodox Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman, who recently decreed that Israel would call the new virus “Mexico Flu” rather than “Swine Flu”, since pigs are not kosher. But the real reason is to draw attention to Mexico rather than swine to help make that Gaza-Mexico connection.

7. The World Health Network was created by the Illuminati elite and used for the creation and release of this virus as a practice scenario for a future plot to release an “end-game” virus. So this swine flu is nothing more than a war game, working out the kinks of virus mapping, tracking, and control, as well as for gauging public responses to media, etc. The intent is to fine-tune the plans for strategically eliminating whoever they wish with targeted viruses. Reports that the virus proved more deadly in Mexico than in the United States or elsewhere is touted as evidence for this theory – the virus was designed to be more deadly for people of Hispanic descent or it was designed to lose strength when it began spreading. Yes, the Illuminati are so powerful they can control the future mutations and spread of viruses. Contrails from airplanes commonly seen over America are in fact releasing immunizing chemicals that protect the American population while leaving the Mexican population vulnerable. Obama is said to be part of the Illuminati, as evidenced by his recent trip to Mexico and subsequent spread of the virus.

Some have claimed that the Illuminati are planning to eradicate Catholicism from the planet through a virus, and this was a trial or failed run. Mexico is one of the last strongholds of Catholicism on the planet, and Catholic elite have long been at odds with the rather heretical Illuminati. The virus is actually phase two – phase one was successfully carried out by Illuminati member Dan Brown through the publication and massive success of his novel The Da Vinci Code. Others say this was not particularly directed at Catholics but is part of an Illuminati plan to control the world population in light of growing strains from overpopulation and global warming.

6. Dead pigs in China are evidence that the virus was engineered there as part of a plot to help China gain economic control of the world by eliminating cheap labor in Mexico and elsewhere and to cripple Western competition with illness. A similar theory claims that the virus idea was put forth by American labor union leaders trying to save the American car manufacturers and other businesses in danger of going bankruptcy due to the poor economy and cheaper third-world labor competition. If it worked in Mexico, the Far East would be next – at least if you opt for the labor unions over China.

5. Republican leaders such as Susan Collins and George W. Bush, upset over loss of power in the United States government, purposefully worked together to block legislation for flu pandemic preparedness in advance of the swine flu because they had prior knowledge of its release. They, after all, were involved in its production and had intended to release it in time to throw the last election in their favor. However, delays in the engineering prevented them from releasing it then, so they opted for the end of Obama’s first 100 days in office to try to start turning the political tide back in their favor.

Or perhaps it was Mexican politics, rather than US politics, behind the virus. Cab drivers in Mexico are spreading the rumor that the Mexican president is behind the swine flu crisis as an effort to increase his approval ratings after a controversial election in 2006. The Mexican people would see him as handling the crisis well and protecting the Mexican people from its further spread. This version sounds a lot like one of the main conspiracy theories of the 1976 swine flu: a soldier in Fort Dix, New Jersey, was the only death and the only confirmed case of swine flu that year. Because of this single case, and the few hundred others around Fort Dix who had flu-like symptoms, a massive swine flu vaccination program was initiated by President Gerald Ford, perhaps to boost his approval ratings and make him look like he was protecting the populace, at a cost of approximately 135 million dollars. You can enjoy some of the now hilarious ad campaigns for people to get vaccinated in 1976 here.

Speaking of vaccinations, they are always popular agents for blame when illnesses are involved. Some people believe that the swine flu is caused by flu vaccinations that were contaminated or went bad. Apparently these vaccinations were given in Mexico where people died, and other swine flu connections are really imagined or non-existent.

4. This virus was really made by the Mexican drug cartels. They are feeling the pinch of the “War on Drugs” and have been investing money in an engineered bio-weapon to eradicate the Mexican army as a threat. Some claim the cartels have been working with Al-Qaeda, but we’ll come to that in a moment.

3. The swine flu was created by the beef, fishing, and/or chicken industries because “the other white meat” is cutting into their bottom line too much. If people can be convinced that pork is not safe to eat, then they will buy other meats instead. Never mind that many people who raise hogs for slaughter also raise other meats, and so this theory would mean many in the business would be hurting their own revenue. Or, a twist on this conspiracy theory claims that radicals within PETA orchestrated the swine flu epidemic to try to scare people off of meat altogether. The epidemic is part of their attempts to create a vegetarian human race.

2. No conspiracy list would be complete without the no-crisis theory. Many conspiracy theorists believe that there is no swine flu. They maintain that even the 1918 flu epidemic was not really flu, but something unknown – they say it was just too deadly to be H1N1, which today is not known to kill many people. Few people have had serious problems from swine flu if they’ve even had it, so the whole thing seems way overblown. The crisis is entirely made up by certain unknown powers (Illuminati? Freemasons? Templars?) who intend to see just how far they can manipulate and control the public through misinformation campaigns. Propaganda has been shown time and time again to be a very powerful tool in warfare and politics – sometimes much more powerful than any weapon.

1. Of course, number one on the Islamic Insights swine flu conspiracy list has to be the Muslim connection. There are two main versions of this theory. The first one holds that Barack Hussein Obama is really a Muslim and intends to “Islamicize” the whole world. He designed the swine flu epidemic to make the public uncomfortable with eating pork. He worked with the President of Egypt so that there would be a massive kill-off of pigs in Egypt in reaction to the swine flu epidemic, even though eating the meat has nothing to do with its apparent spread, hoping others would follow suit. This is just the beginning of a larger plan to get the whole world to stop eating pork because it is Haram and will be followed by a series of other crises and incidents to gradually “turn people Muslim”. So, the swine flu is one small part in the Muslim world takeover, of which the closet-Muslim Barack Hussein Obama is a key player.

The second version of the Muslim connection theory is, just as you expected, about Al-Qaeda and terrorism. In this theory, Al-Qaeda is interested in bioterrorism but is having trouble getting it carried out in the United States due to high security. The organization decides that it is much easier to introduce a bioweapon in Mexico, and that if the weapon is a contagious disease, this will work against the United States and other infidel Western countries very well because of the high traffic among these countries. So, Al-Qaeda engineers the swine flu and releases it in Mexico as a terrorist attack. Of course, Al-Qaeda would choose a disease associated with pigs, because Muslims absolutely hate pigs, so what better agent could they come up with? Further, Muslims in Mexico would not be eating pork and presumably would have less contact with the animals than the non-Muslim population, so this would provide a very minor protection to Muslims at the earliest stages of the disease cycle. Muslims who later contracted the virus through human-to-human contagion would just be collateral damage or martyrs. Some conspiracy theorists posit an alliance between Al-Qaeda and the Mexican drug cartels. As mentioned earlier, the drug cartels allegedly have their own motivations for participating in this terrorist attack and know how to operate and maneuver in Mexico well.

As you can see, conspiracy theories are created to target whoever people fear or hate, or whatever worries are on their mind – the economy, terrorists, secret world rulers, black presidents, liberals, vaccinations, and so on. Which theory do you think is the strongest or weakest? What other theories have you heard about swine flu? Do share in the insanity!

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