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Muslim at Prom?

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Dancing with a boy while wearing Hijab seems inconceivable. At least it used to be. With the ushering in of a new, more liberal version of Islam in the West, the number of teenage Muslims attending events like prom has increased substantially. Many in our community fall victim to peer pressure and give in to this multimillion dollar business of selling clothes, accessories, makeup, food, alcohol, and limo services.

There is something about prom that is so fundamentally problematic that we as Muslims shouldn't even consider attending such events. Many brothers and sisters who do attend will attempt to justify their attendance with statements like "It's just one night", "I won't do something stupid, like dance", or "I'll still be wearing my Hijab with my dress". Giving credit where due, it really is just one night: one night where we choose to forget Allah and our values in order to gain a superficial acceptance by "them".

A little part of me dies when I see a beautiful, pious sister doling herself out as eye candy for the entire high school to see. It is very possible that in the midst of the high school fever, some of us will lose touch with reality. Come on now, you don't drink, dance, or date, so why do you want to go to prom? Also, why are your friends who are attending pressuring you into going? This stands as a testament that maybe, just maybe, they are unable to respect your beliefs.

Believe it or not, the very fact Islam stands against ideas like prom and excessive gender mixing should be a source of pride for Muslims. Unfortunately, when many Muslims explain to others why they won't attend prom, they murmur something like "It's against my religion" and act like they've committed a crime. Have we really stopped to consider that we are servants of Allah and that standing firm in our faith is our duty? So often it is treated like a choice, as if there is anything compelling in committing sins openly. In reality, those who protect themselves from corruption gain nobility in the eyes of God.

On a micro level, a couple of Muslims attending prom doesn't hurt anyone. Or does it? Adamantly sinning and going against any morals is indeed corrosive to the soul of the person who takes part in the event. However, on a larger level, it leads to the watering down of religion. Personal accountability is eliminated, and it gives us the mindset that because everyone else is doing it, it's okay or "less wrong".

When sisters who wear Hijab attend such gatherings, they are also betraying the sanctity of their religious garb. Sure, they managed to find a long sleeved dress at David's Bridal and found a matching yellow Hijab, along with the best makeup 30 dollars could buy. But by basking in these superficialities, they go against the statement that their Hijab should make. By attending a gathering where music and dancing is found, they are taking away from their own self respect. Yes, we know, you're only going there to sit down on the chair and watch your friends party...right, sister? While that may be your intention, be prepared to have guys come tell you how "gorgeous" you look, and ask you to slow dance. Why would they do that you ask? By attending prom, you are giving off a certain perception of yourself and inviting such comments and suggestions, and whether or not it is true doesn't really matter to those around you.

Although it seems like something obscure to many of us, gatherings such as prom can be defined as a test of the boundaries our community is willing to set. What is a good time? Trust me, no time can ever be "good" in which Allah is being disobeyed. The timing of prom is even more pressing – it comes just as many of us are transitioning into a new phase of our lives. Just as we grow older, our faith must grow with us. Indeed, how we as individual families and as a greater community tackle issues like prom, dances, and gender mixing will be indicators of how we seek to reconcile Islam and popular culture in the West.

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ALi Jai Faison: Proms
As-salaamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah! The prom is fundamental to America's High School experience. It is a social networking system to allow children a chance to see what adults do at larger gatherings. This is America! We cannot expect to send our children into the den of wolves and expect them not to be eaten or at least nibbled at. We rant and rave about American ways that are questionable and often times purely evil, yet we come to this country and establish home for ourselves and our children. we mix with Americans, not for the purpose of dawah, but for the purpose of peace and blending. What do we expect? If you did not come here for dawah and change, then you will be changed. Check your home! I'll bet that your world of Al-Islam is changing right before your very eyes. The key to the future is our children and they are not being heavily influenced by us, but by someone and something else. Make hijrah if it is too hot in the kitchen! Get out while you still have some essence of Al-Islam left in you and your household.
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May 25, 2009
Ali Abid: ...
Yes, we must mix with Americans Bro. Ali, but not at the expense of our prior commitments to Allah swt and our own souls.
2

May 25, 2009
.: RE: Proms
Ali, imagine the Prophet had this idea of not introducing Islamic principles for the sake of fitting in. We would not have any Islam! The society he was sent to was the worst. His method of doing 'dawah' was not to just tell people what they wanted to hear. More importantly, the Prophet told people what they SHOULD hear.

There's no excuse for Muslims going to proms. Sister Huda is right!
3

May 25, 2009
Ali K: Prom=formal
They call it the 'formal' down here in Australia. It's getting more stupid by the year.
4

May 25, 2009
Sadiq M. : .
Ahsant!

Great article. I have noticed this trend within many (Shia) communities too.

InshAllah we can begin to wake up.
5

May 26, 2009
fkarimah: RE: proms
This was an insightful article about modern problems Muslim families face in society.
I'm a seamstress for these formal shops. I just do the work for whomever needs fitting for their 'gala' and have not had to deal with Muslims in my town.
Actually, they have no impact on the community. You wouldn't even know that there were Muslims here, although there is a mosque, they all stick together with their own nationality. This is one of the problems with modern Islam in USA. No connection with 'other than themselves". I'm new here in this town and going to the mosque is an 'experience' of which I'd rather not have to go through. No outward friendship is extended to me, the new comer.
So, I sew and make a living, am alone with my Islam in a new town and read about the dilemmas Muslim families have with their everyday life. BUT,Who's to blame for the lack of tawhid with the Muslim today in America? These kids go to school, accept others and try to blend in. But if the Muslim community doesn't offer alternatives, then what can you expect???
This is what needs to be contemplated on.
6

May 26, 2009
~55: Last year's prom
I breifly remeber an article written last year, I think writen by islam.org, about a group of New York Muslim girls who started their own prom. But rather than the typical prom, it was only for sisters to enjoy their graudation. Not only did Muslims girls attend, but many conservative christians and jewish girls were in attendence as well. Rather than forbid our children from such forums, lets find solutions.

I agree Ali that events like these have many benefits. So lets find out what all those benefits are, and mold them into an environment that more Muslim freindly.....
7

May 26, 2009
JH: Muslim Friendly Proms?
Most "alternative" proms still have music and such. Why do Muslims have this inferiority complex where we HAVE to copy everyone else? What happened to a little originality?

8

May 26, 2009
:-S: Hmmm...
I did not see any mention of Muslim "brothers" in this article. Is attending the prom cool for them? Why do we always pick on the "sisters"?
9

May 26, 2009
Batool Jafri: ...
I agree, for some reason a lot of Muslim guys get free passes to go to these types of events from their parents & community members while their sisters do not. So with that logic, it's not okay to be a Muslim girl who gets hit on and disrespected by guys, but on the contrary it's okay for Muslim guys to be those disgusting, disrespectful 'players' who hit on someone elses sister. And that's not to say that this is the opinion of the author or anything, but this is just a common trend we find in our very messed-up communities.
10

May 26, 2009
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