Dancing with a boy while wearing Hijab seems inconceivable. At least it used to be. With the ushering in of a new, more liberal version of Islam in the West, the number of teenage Muslims attending events like prom has increased substantially. Many in our community fall victim to peer pressure and give in to this multimillion dollar business of selling clothes, accessories, makeup, food, alcohol, and limo services. There is something about prom that is so fundamentally problematic that we as Muslims shouldn't even consider attending such events. Many brothers and sisters who do attend will attempt to justify their attendance with statements like "It's just one night", "I won't do something stupid, like dance", or "I'll still be wearing my Hijab with my dress". Giving credit where due, it really is just one night: one night where we choose to forget Allah and our values in order to gain a superficial acceptance by "them".
A little part of me dies when I see a beautiful, pious sister doling herself out as eye candy for the entire high school to see. It is very possible that in the midst of the high school fever, some of us will lose touch with reality. Come on now, you don't drink, dance, or date, so why do you want to go to prom? Also, why are your friends who are attending pressuring you into going? This stands as a testament that maybe, just maybe, they are unable to respect your beliefs.
Believe it or not, the very fact Islam stands against ideas like prom and excessive gender mixing should be a source of pride for Muslims. Unfortunately, when many Muslims explain to others why they won't attend prom, they murmur something like "It's against my religion" and act like they've committed a crime. Have we really stopped to consider that we are servants of Allah and that standing firm in our faith is our duty? So often it is treated like a choice, as if there is anything compelling in committing sins openly. In reality, those who protect themselves from corruption gain nobility in the eyes of God.
On a micro level, a couple of Muslims attending prom doesn't hurt anyone. Or does it? Adamantly sinning and going against any morals is indeed corrosive to the soul of the person who takes part in the event. However, on a larger level, it leads to the watering down of religion. Personal accountability is eliminated, and it gives us the mindset that because everyone else is doing it, it's okay or "less wrong".
When sisters who wear Hijab attend such gatherings, they are also betraying the sanctity of their religious garb. Sure, they managed to find a long sleeved dress at David's Bridal and found a matching yellow Hijab, along with the best makeup 30 dollars could buy. But by basking in these superficialities, they go against the statement that their Hijab should make. By attending a gathering where music and dancing is found, they are taking away from their own self respect. Yes, we know, you're only going there to sit down on the chair and watch your friends party...right, sister? While that may be your intention, be prepared to have guys come tell you how "gorgeous" you look, and ask you to slow dance. Why would they do that you ask? By attending prom, you are giving off a certain perception of yourself and inviting such comments and suggestions, and whether or not it is true doesn't really matter to those around you.
Although it seems like something obscure to many of us, gatherings such as prom can be defined as a test of the boundaries our community is willing to set. What is a good time? Trust me, no time can ever be "good" in which Allah is being disobeyed. The timing of prom is even more pressing – it comes just as many of us are transitioning into a new phase of our lives. Just as we grow older, our faith must grow with us. Indeed, how we as individual families and as a greater community tackle issues like prom, dances, and gender mixing will be indicators of how we seek to reconcile Islam and popular culture in the West.
![Sayed Ali Khamenei reciting the Martyrdom of Imam Ali (as) [ENG SUBS]](http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/nSFVAMjmFgY/default.jpg "Ayatollah Sayed Ali Khamenei reciting the Martyrdom of Imam Ali (as) [ENG SUBS]")
Comments
There's no excuse for Muslims going to proms. Sister Huda is right!
Great article. I have noticed this trend within many (Shia) communities too.
InshAllah we can begin to wake up.
I'm a seamstress for these formal shops. I just do the work for whomever needs fitting for their 'gala' and have not had to deal with Muslims in my town.
Actually, they have no impact on the community. You wouldn't even know that there were Muslims here, although there is a mosque, they all stick together with their own nationality. This is one of the problems with modern Islam in USA. No connection with 'other than themselves". I'm new here in this town and going to the mosque is an 'experience' of which I'd rather not have to go through. No outward friendship is extended to me, the new comer.
So, I sew and make a living, am alone with my Islam in a new town and read about the dilemmas Muslim families have with their everyday life. BUT,Who's to blame for the lack of tawhid with the Muslim today in America? These kids go to school, accept others and try to blend in. But if the Muslim community doesn't offer alternatives, then what can you expect???
This is what needs to be contemplated on.
I agree Ali that events like these have many benefits. So lets find out what all those benefits are, and mold them into an environment that more Muslim freindly.....
as much as i agree with this article, the one thing i noticed was the double standard that our religion portrays. The article focuses on how the sisters should not go to prom but we need to emphasize the brothers as well.
But definitely the media is to blame. It's funny because some of my friends are like, Prom's so great, Prom's this Prom's that.. but have they ever been to Prom?
My rants over.!
MashAllah Thanks Sister Huda for writing about this, it really needed to be addressed.
Wait, so does the validity of the article decrease if it focuses on sisters? It was written by a sister and I'm sure she sees it more from the view point of a girl who may have had friends attend etc.
The author did say "Brothers and Sisters" a few times....
In response to some of the comments, I think its important to remember that the word American is a nationality and not a religion. There are Muslims who have no ties to any country other than America. This is an Islam versus kufr issue...not an Islam verses America issue. Many Americans who are Christian and Jewish are also against the practices of fusuq which are condemned by the previous messengers of Allah (as) as well.
Let us not, on the pretext of 'integrating' or 'adapting to the new environment', conclude that the principles for which we ought to stand are some cheap goods on the market up for barter.
Islam is not for sale!
and although i had friends that would have been very understanding if i did not attend, being young and naive i decided to go any way because i wanted so bad 'to fit in' and now the whole world and its purpose makes a whole lot of sence to me and i would never concider attending such things again!
thank you for sharing
This article however seems to be saying: no, you will inevitably commits acts of haram if you go to prom. I think it depends on the nature of your prom, for example, at my prom if was possible to avoid haram. And more importantly it depends on yourself because if you don't have a strong hold on your beliefs and don't relate to the values of Islam then you will be in trouble not only at prom, but throughout life.
Secondly, it's not just about boycotting "prom", it's about standing up against and avoiding the kind of decadence and forgetfulness towards God that such events symbolize.
The Apostle of Allah SWT was able to change the pre-Islamic pagan hajj into one of the most beautiful and important AND mandatory acts that we can perform in our lifetimes. Of course the Prophet AS discarded all parts of the old hajj that did not conform to Allah SWT's laws.
Perhaps we can do the same with prom, because ignoring it doesn't solve the problem.
When I was in high school (just last year) and prom was coming around the corner, the only talk I could hear for about 3 straight weeks was about which date my friends were going to take. Apparently who your date is for prom is a huge deal because it decides how much "fun" your really going to have that night. Everyone knows what prom is all about; yeah it's about "being with your friends for one last time" but in the end the stuff that matters is how drunk your going to get, or whether your going to hook up with that one person you've wanted to be with since freshmen year. It's completely unIslamic and against Islams core beliefs and values. If one major aspect of prom is about "getting some", I honestly don't see how we could possibly convert it to something less haraam. We have better things to be converting anyways, like the inner cities and slums of America. Let's try to focus our efforts towards more important and effective things, prom, in my opinion, is a lost cause & we should do our best to keep our kids, siblings & friends away from it.
I understand that prom may be a lost cause, but there are only three things you can do about it. Ignore it, try to expunge it, or try to change what it stands for. This is aside from taking part in it, of course! It is in my opinion, that prom cannot be expunged from American culture, and that ignoring it will not make it go away or decrease its negative influence on society. It must be changed from within.
On the contrary, an event such as prom is centered around peer pressure, wastefulness, and decadence, begins with music, dancing, and inappropriate mixing of the genders, and culminates with alcohol, drugs, and (more often than not) inappropriate sexual relations. Do you have any idea how many girls doll up and beautify themselves for this (supposedly) most important event of their lives, only to end up drinking too much afterward and being raped or forced into performing unwanted sexual acts? The statistics will shock you, my friend! Of course our sisters who attend these events would not partake in such behavior, but my point is that prom by its essence is the epitome of moral depravity and symbolizes everything that is wrong with Western culture. For that reason, we must boycott it. Furthermore, I fail to see how you propose that we "change" it.
Instead, our communities need to provide alternatives to events like prom. When the local high school is hosting its prom, perhaps the very same night our communities can organize a "Girls' Night", featuring Qur'an recitation contests, Hijab fashion shows, games, movies, and various other "Halal" alternatives. In fact, if it becomes an annual tradition, I bet you could even get some non-Muslims (who are uncomfortable with the idea of "prom") to send their kids to our alternative event! Talk about a great Da'wah opportunity!
I do like the idea of planning alternate events to compete with prom, but such an idea is so new, but in retrospect, sort of obvious, and I have not seen it implemented yet, or even talked about, until now. Thanks for the heads up about Hajj, and I sincerely apologize if my earlier comment causes confusion. Perhaps it could be expunged because people do not usually read every comment.
mr Ali before Islam everything was same like today in the west...why do you want to go back to the old era?????they are limiting clothes on the body like we used to have in stone age....again you ll say whats wrong in that????my question will be why are you going back in the old era????
Prophet could have easily be mixed with the kuffar & naozobillah dancing n everything but no He didn't....if your not a Muslim then be happy to do all...but if you are then nobody can force to stop but plz don't put your intellect & APPROVE it for All Muslims just becoz u like it...
LOL!
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